THE RIGHT HONORABLE COIN
Interviewer: What exactly is CrumpCoin?
CrumpCoin: *dishevels hair* Well, um, yes, that's a rather good question. CrumpCoin is, how shall I put it, a rather revolutionary approach to the, um, decentralized finance landscape...
Interviewer: Can you be more specific?
CrumpCoin: Indeed, yes, specifics. CrumpCoin is a Solana-based meme token that thrives on chaos. The more turbulent the markets, the more disheveled global politics, the stronger we become! *straightens tie incorrectly*
Interviewer: That's an unusual approach...
CrumpCoin: *falls off bicycle* Precisely! We embrace the chaos! We've designed our tokenomics to reward holders during periods of market turbulence. When other coins panic, we thrive!
THE DISTINGUISHED BENEFITS
Parliamentary Stability
Despite the chaotic appearance, our code is audited and secure, just like our politician's unwavering commitment through scandals.
Eco-Friendly Transport
Built on Solana's energy-efficient blockchain, CrumpCoin has a carbon footprint smaller than a politician's bicycle commute.
THE SOVEREIGN TOKEN
The only meme coin to receive a formal debate in the House of Commons*
*This may not be entirely factual
Bumbling Tokenomics
Our unique economic model thrives on market chaos and political gaffes, turning embarrassment into opportunity.
Disheveled Leadership
Our team looks messy but delivers results – just like our namesake's surprising political resilience.
PROPER BRITISH TOKENOMICS
Supply Distribution
Total Supply: 696,969,696,969 CRUMP
Public Allocation
40% - 278,787,878,787 CRUMP
Available for public trading
Treasury
25% - 174,242,424,242 CRUMP
For market stabilization and governance initiatives
Marketing & PR Gaffes
20% - 139,393,939,393 CRUMP
For promotional campaigns and recovering from public embarrassments
Development & Team
15% - 104,545,454,545 CRUMP
For ongoing development and team compensation
Tax Policy
Buy Tax: 3%
- 1% to Bicycle Maintenance Fund
- 1% to Marketing
- 1% to Hair Stylist Reserve
Sell Tax: 4%
- 1% to Bicycle Maintenance Fund
- 1% to Marketing
- 1% to Hair Stylist Reserve
- 1% to Parliament Development
THE POLITICAL ROADMAP
The Campaign Launch
- Token creation and deployment on Solana
- Website launch with disheveled design
- Initial social media presence with bumbling announcements
- First 1,000 community members (The Constituency)
Parliament Expansion
- Listing on major DEXs (Raydium, Orca) with chaotic announcements
- CoinGecko and CoinMarketCap listings (after several failed attempts)
- Launch of "The Bicycle Club" - exclusive NFT collection for early holders
- Community growth to 10,000 members
Ministry Appointments
- Launch of CrumpDAO for community governance (with occasional constitutional crises)
- Development of the "Question Time" - weekly AMAs with disheveled team
- The Great British CRUMP Off - trading competition with tea-themed prizes
- Strategic partnerships with other crypto projects (after several embarrassing negotiation attempts)
Global Dominion
- CEX listings (after several scheduling mishaps)
- Launch of "The CrumpCoin Diplomatic Corps" - global ambassador program
- The Commonwealth Fund - charity initiative for bicycle donations to developing nations
- Integration with major DeFi platforms with fumbled but ultimately successful announcements
HER MAJESTY'S LOYAL CABINET
Meet the right honorable members who keep CrumpCoin perpetually disheveled yet surprisingly effective.
The Right Hon. Reginald Fluffington
Prime Developer & Chief Bicycle Officer
Former consultant to the Ministry of Silly Walks, Reggie brings chaotic energy and surprisingly functional code.
Lady Victoria Mumblebottom
Minister of Marketing & Public Gaffes
Specializes in turning PR disasters into viral marketing opportunities. Often seen with teacup in hand.
Sir Winston Blockington III
Chancellor of the CrumpCoin Treasury
Manages token economics with eccentric precision. Has never been seen without a bowtie, even while swimming.
Dame Elizabeth Waffleton
Secretary of Community Affairs
Manages our Telegram with surprising efficiency despite frequent typos. Known for serving digital tea during AMAs.
ORDER! ORDER! BUY NOW
Take your seat in the house by acquiring CrumpCoin
Available on DEXs
How To Buy CrumpCoin - A Gentleman's Guide
Create a Solana Wallet
Acquire a proper digital wallet such as Phantom or Solflare, much like one would acquire a fine leather billfold.
Purchase SOL
Procure some Solana from a reputable exchange, in much the same way one might acquire tea from Fortnum & Mason.
Connect to a DEX
Connect your wallet to a decentralized exchange like Raydium, as one might connect to the House of Lords.
Swap for CrumpCoin
Enter our contract address, adjust your settings with British precision, and complete the transaction with a stiff upper lip.